Anju looked sad as she entered my office. She was soft spoken, caring and emotional. Her usual words would most often be, “He was angry with me, but maybe he has a lot going on at work today”. She and her boyfriend were working in the same office and had come to Mumbai together, sharing a rental accommodation.  

Anju was a very active, energetic and friendly person. She had many friends and many were dependent on her for help. She was stretched thin but always had reasons why there was so much on her plate. She was one of those few clients who would ask me, “How are you doing today? All well?”  

Slowly, she started sharing about her physical aches and pains during her session. When I would ask her if she was tired her most common answer would be “A little, but I am fine and full of energy.”  

But today, she really looked sad. She came and started crying softly. I sat next to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She sobbed. “What happened?” I asked gently. Her sobbing became a little louder. After a long silence, she said, “No one is there for me. I understand everyone. But no one understands me.”

She was expressing deep emotions, I could sense her pain. She sighed and relaxed on the couch.  

She continued after a long pause, “I have always been the one who understands everyone else’s pain and their emotions. I am always willing to consider others. But today it hurts a lot.” 

I knew that she was reaching a deep realization. She took a deep breath and I waited for her to start her narrative. She said, “I was so happy today as I got these two movie tickets from my friend and I asked my boyfriend to come and he just said no. He didn’t even see my disappointment. If the situation was reversed, I would go just to make him happy, even if I was exhausted.”  

“Have you always been like this?” I asked. 

We started to go back to her past and understand behavior patterns, which started opening many doors. Under the beautiful façade of the always empathetic Anju, there was the Self that needed to be found.