I could tell by looking at her that she was filled with emotion and seemed to be jumbled in thought before she began. Then she started to talk and would not stop. Kaajal related how when she 7 years old, she had been in a car accident in the US and was the only survivor. Both her parents, one of her older sisters and her grandmother (Nani), were all killed on impact. She had a head injury that damaged a nerve, causing life-long inconsistencies in her temperament and epilepsy attacks.

The monologue was devoid of emotions as if she was just presenting facts from a story she had heard. I wondered if she had lived and relived her pain so many times that she was now immune to it, or if her mental construct made her disconnect from her feelings.

 Kaajal was now living alone in Mumbai in her grandmother’s flat. She had inherited enough to take care of her financial needs. 

The more we spoke, the more it seemed that she was unconsciously afraid of losing people in her life. As a result she was unable to draw boundaries in her current relationships. It was a continuous game of latching on with all she had and then being pushed back by the other person. The cycle of this attachment, obsession and then rejection left her confused, angry and in pain.

I knew it would be a slow process to get there, but her journey to healing had begun.